NaNoWriMo diaries – day #13

I am admitting defeat.

Wow, that doesn’t sound so nice, does it.

I haven’t posted the last two days because the only things I could have written about are the things I’v already talked about on repeat: I am not getting into this, flow doesn’t come, writing is hard.

Today, I’ve taken a long hard look at the last two weeks, at myself, at how I feel while writing and at my story, and realised: this won’t work.

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The NaNoWriMo diaries – day #9

What a day.

When the election result came in,  I spent the morning unable to get out of bed and crying.  Writing a YA fantasy story suddenly seemed like the most pointless, unimportant thing in the world.

But then remembered. I remembered that I have two strong women in there, who both fight for their beliefs, but will undergo change. Will learn to understand that there is always more than one side to things, that categorial antagonism is rarely the way to go and that most people don’t hold their beliefs out of pure evil.

There is a people who are a minority, marginalized and looked down upon who are resilient and find ways to keep together as a community despite their hardships. Who keep their beliefs and who will see change coming and hope rise.

There are two boys, both struggling to find out who they are, caught between what they (think they) want and what is expected of them. Who will encounter challenges and suffer, but also learn things. Open their minds to different possibilities.

These are the kind of people I root for. These are the kind of people I want to trust with our future. These are the kind of people I want as role models for readers young and old alike.

It’s one of the reasons I write.

It’s not that I want to talk down to anyone or lecture them. I don’t want to pertain a “holier than thou” attitude, but I want and I will make sure that my belief system and my values are openly found in every chapter I write. It’s not about proclaiming them. It’s about making them part of the strucutre of my story, about weaving them into the backbone of my tales, where (especially young) readers can find them and think about them. Sound out their own positions in relation to them.

Not everything I write on the surface is a reflection of who I am and what I believe. Not every indication of moral, value systems or political thought is put there deliberately or a direct expression of myself.  But if you look deeper, at themes and recurring issues: this is where you find me.

It’s why, to me, writing is important. Even on a day like today.

Especially on a day like today.


There’s no way to transition over elegantly to my writing performance of the day, so clumsy has to do. Writing was once again not really smooth, but I got a bit of dialog in and I kind of feel like it might really be the key to a better flow.

I’ve heaped more trouble on one of my main characters and left her in a (life and death) cliff hanger situation.

I’ll leave you with one of her thoughts that I feel, applies to most situations in life, not only to those that foreshadow possible physical harm.

Defensive stances have never been her forte. She doesn’t like to be a victim. If someone wants to hurt her, they will do so regardless of whether she cowers in fear or stands her ground.


IWSG – My favourite aspect of being a writer

Well, hello there. Last month I came across the Insecure Writers Support Group and thought it a pretty brilliant idea, so naturally, I joined.

The answer to this month’ question actually took me quite a bit longer than I expected. In the end, I think it comes down to two things:

The constant play with language.

I’ve tried my hand at quite a few genres so far and while fantasy often wins out, I enjoyed them all. I love writing in and for different settings and adapting my choice of words accordingly. Often, it is sublte, yet it changes a lot. Writing opens up possibilities to explore the language of every possible rank and station, occupation and social standing. It’s one big word adventure and I love it.

The ability to expand on what is there.

As a writer, especially in fantasy (but likewise in other genres), I get to ask “what if” and then find answers of my own. I can make up whole societies, worlds, cultures. I can dive deep into the mind of people who don’t even exist and yet, sometimes are as real to me as my friends and family. I get to take my experience of the world, my perspectives and views and elaborate on them, build them into something different. When you write, even the mundane becomes one big playground and it’s the best thing in the world.

And of course, let’s not forget all the wonderful, quirky people and the vast landscapes of their minds that you get to know once you’ve stepped up and identified yourself as a writer.

While there are a lot more good things to be said about being a writer, those definitely are my favorite aspects.

Weekly round up

I was lucky enough to have one of my writer friends of awesome (really, this one has been an honorary family member basically since day one) over for a few days. Needless to say, I had a brilliant weekend.

We spent it climbing onto church towers in the dark (all legal, I promise), visiting an exhibition, having long conversations (about writing, of course, but also other stuff), eating awesome food and browsing my local comic store for hours. It’s been great.

The not so great part of the weekend is the fact that since yesterday, I can basically feel my sinuses die a slow agonizing death. It’s almost time for me to start into the busiest part of the year so of course it is the perfect time for the arrival of  a sinus infection, right?

Universe, get your act together!

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